The Weekend (A Completely Uncreative Title)

I never wrote about last weekend, so I'm going to. I don't think it will be funny, because I am tired and because this seems to be more of a routine "here's my life tah dah!" blog entry. Doesn't that suck for you.

Last week, I was all stressed out trying to plan Jo's surprise party around everyone else's plans and schedules while trying to keep her in the dark and be a part of the man multiple plans that were going on. It was a pretty hectic thing to do. No offense to Jo and if you read this I don't mean to make you feel guilty. But surprise parties are stressful. I will never plan another. Actually, I'll probably do at least one for my future husband because he deserves one before I say never. But I will NOT allow others to make surprise parties for me. I will be extremely difficult and inconvenience them greatly until they give up and are like "Fuck this" and then I can go about planning my own birthday party. This year, I want to do an Alice In Wonderland themed birthday. I have it all planned out in my head. I hope other people will want to do it too and won't bail out on me like The Office party, which I was totally ready for and will attempt to do again soon. I need to find more friends who like theme parties. Stephanie does and good thing she's my best friend because that'll be helpful in the long run.

Anyway, Jo's party ended up being a success. Emma did A LOT of work making it happen and I did a lot of the behind the scenes stuff. Katie was a very excellent helper lady and I'm glad she was there to help me calm down about the rival party. I won't get into that, but I did get kind of upset about the whole thing and then that made me competitive and then I decided to usurp it and create my own. I'm a bad friend of a friend.

Date Night was a very cute movie and I was really glad I got to see it with a whole bunch of people I love. I want to see it with Stephanie because I know there was a lot of things in it we would have liked.

The next morning, bright and early, was the 5K. Woo hoo. Remember that blog I was writing about my journey to the 5K and how I was preparing for it? Well, that died, along with my training. I didn't do so well in that department. I realize a lot of things about myself though through not preparing for the 5K, which sounds screwy but it makes sense in my head and I'll save it for a later post.

I ended doing pretty well for me. I ran it in 32:15, which is only forty-five seconds off my first 5K back when I was in Cross Country, so I'm proud of that. I didn't walk at all. Not once, which was my goal. It was really hard for me to let people pass. I kept thinking 'I'm losing points, I'm losing points' which is how it goes in XC, but I reminded myself very well that it's not about racing others, it was about racing myself. I didn't do it in my ideal time, but I did finish and I didn't walk so I am FUCKING PROUD if I do say so myself.

Everyone else did super well as well, but according to the little percentage things that make no sense, none of us should be running ever. That's stupid. Because we all did KICK ASS and yes, we did so KICK ASS it deserves all caps.

Then afterwards I got really sick and nauseay, so I slept a lot and complained a lot and did nothing for the rest of Sunday. Not a stitch of homework, which is why this weekend is going to be a (hopefully) total work weekend. If not, I don't really care anyway.

It's Spring Quarter. I'm supposed to be ditching these craptastic classes for the beach. Which I think I might just do on Saturday. Maybe all those stupid little bugs died?

Good night.

What is your ideal day?

My ideal day is a day where at the end of the day I feel productive. That's something I constantly struggle with-the feeling of being productive. I don't like days where I climb into bed without a sense of accomplishment.
Aside from my own personal hang ups, I think my ideal day would be me waking up around 730 in the morning, going for a short jog, shower, breakfast, clean up anything that needed to be cleaned, and then I would read. I would read the rest of the day. I would pause to eat and pee and poop. But I would read. Yes, that sounds idyllic to me.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

20 Compliments for Joanne

Compliment 1: Jo, you are amazing.

Compliment 2: Jo, you are the best dodgeball player ever.

Compliment 3: Jo, you are so good at dodgeball and I am way more in awe of your skills than I am in awe of Potter.

Compliment 4: Jo, you are so good at baking pies, it's like you have a special talent to make fruits come back from the dead to be super delicious.

Compliment 5: Jo, I like that your sweater fits you.

Compliment 6: Jo, you inspire me to be who I am, whoever that is, by being yourself no matter what others think.

Compliment 7: Jo, you are beautiful in every single way.

Compliment 8: Jo, you make me smile.

Compliment 9: Jo, you make me happy.

Compliment 10: Jo, you are a visionary.

Compliment 11: Jo, if Super Smash was an Olympic sport, you would be a gold medalist.

Compliment 12: Jo, actually, if anything was an Olympic sport, you would be a gold medalist.

Compliment 13: Jo, 13 is my favorite number and you are my favorite too.

Compliment 14: Jo, you look good everyday, but when you get all dressed up, you make my heart aflutter.

Compliment 15: Jo, you are a classy lady, unlike Celine Dion and her 35 years older husband.

Compliment 16: Jo, you deserve a man who far exceeds your expectations because you will far succeed his.

Compliment 17: Jo, you are like the sun, warm, bright, and light, making the Earth a perfect place for human habitation.

Compliment 18: Jo, you are like the moon, lighting up the darkness and giving me hope for the next day, but when you are like a new moon, gone from my existence, my world is dark and cold and lonely.

Compliment 19: Jo, you make me proud to be your friend.

Compliment 20: Jo, I love you just as you are.

BONUS COMPLIMENT

Compliment 21: Jo, you are like the dark chocolate cake in our fridge- strong, tall, and black; with an outrageous amount of flowery beauty on the outside; filled with delicious, surprising layers on the inside; and everyone wants a piece of you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOANNE WHO! BOMB! ASDF!

NSYNC On Pandora

I'm listening to *NSYNC on Pandora (I don't know if that link will bring you to it, but hopefully it at least brings you close). It's a total nostalgia trip. Britney, Christina, Backstreet Boys... they're all there.

I was never into the boy bands. I was hugely into The Spice Girls. Like, obsessively. I remember I my seventh birthday my mom got me a huge stereo and my first cd- STOP the single by The Spice Girls. I was thrilled to say the least. I had invited two other girls named Chelsey (Chelsea and Chelsie) and so we all became The Spice Girls in order to differentiate. I was ALWAYS Baby Spice. She was my most favorite. When I moved to Redding, my first day of third grade at a new school I was all decked out in Spice. I had the backpack, the t-shirt, platform flip-flops, the pencils, the pencil case, the notebooks, the works.

I had the Barbies, the dolls, the cd's, the cassette tapes, platform sneakers, the jewelry, everything. Considering how much Twilight stuff I have and how much of it my mom bought me (85% of it), I think she is the one who fuels my obsessions. I also thinks she just likes to get me everything that makes me happy. She's a good mommy.

I can't remember what Christmas it was, but my mom and grandpa had gone to Toys R Us on one of their super duper deal early morning things and bought me The Spice Girl bike. It came with a small backpack that you put on the front and had a mini Spice Girls radio. That was pretty hardcore. I think my most hardcore moment.

From The Spice Girls I moved on to Britney Spears. I was pretty obsessed with her through the Britney cd. After that I was kind of over her. But while I did like her, I was pretty intense about her. She was my very first concert. I think I was 10 years old and my aunt and mom took me, but the whole day they told me they were taking me to the dentist so when they actually gave me the tickets to the show, I was just so happy I wasn't going to the dentist that I didn't have the best reaction to actually seeing Britney Spears. It was pretty funny. But I remember I wore these black boots that I called my concert boots and I wore them to my second concert, O-Town.

O-Town was only ever big for me because Ashley Angel was from Redding. I kind of watched the show, bought the first cd, enjoyed the first cd, not going to lie. I saw them in concert because they came to Redding and my mom's friend's husband works for the city so we got super cheap fifth row tickets. I'm pretty certain to this day the one I thought that was hot, although I can't remember which one that is, waved at me. I also have Ashley Angel's autograph, not because I met him but because his girlfriend came into the Ross where my mom works and she gave her one. Sad though, that was my mommy's last concert before I took her to Dave Matthews Band.

Ah, Dave Matthews Band. My music tastes have drastically changed over the years- pop to rock to alternative to rap to screamo- but DMB has never once faded from my repertoire. I love them with a fiery, ardent passion that will persist for all of my lifetime, coming close but never overcoming my love for God. Yes, I almost love DMB as much as I love God. They are brilliant, getting better and better with each album and I have to say that Big Whiskey is their best. And their concert was amazing. I actually get to review their album for one of my writing assignments this quarter and I am HELLA stoked. I am going to mix in parts of their concert to explain how I feel about each of the songs. It is seriously one of the most brilliant records ever and if I am ever able to see them in concert again I will be paying big bucks for the big seats. I want to be as close as I can. THEY ARE WORTH IT.

My music tastes now are much more eclectic and are growing as I start really getting into my position at the radio station. I love it. I have a hard time with new music, mostly because I don't have time to find new stuff and be able to truly like it and figure out how it melds with my life. I mostly find new music when I'm going through something. That's how Taylor Swift came to me. I love T. Swizzle. Her concert was good, only one that has ever made me cry, but a good kind of cry. She'll definitely grow into being a performer. She's cute and lovable and so down to her which is why I love her. See, I like country, rock, alternative, some rap, I heavily rely on things from the nineties. I like show tunes, oldies, songs about falling in love with ostriches. I love all sorts of things.

Make sure you check out Melodic Moment up at the top of the page. It changes all the time. It's whatever song has been on my mind lately. You'll probably enjoy it.

If you had a ticket to anywhere, where you go?

I would go to Redding. Sad, huh? But it's an expensive ticket from San Diego. I paid less for my ticket to Boston. But that's where all the people are that I want to be with.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

What is your biggest insecurity and why?

My biggest insecurity would be certain aspects about my body. I have an abnormally large amount of body hair. I'm sure someone reading this understands, but I sometimes I feel very alone in this. Once though, I was watching the Jimmy Kimmel Show and his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend?) was on it, and she mentioned that she had a lot of body hair but said that Jimmy had said to her that it just means she has a lot of testosterone and therefore likes sex more. I just hope my husband thinks that's a fair trade-off.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

Where does the good go?

The good goes to someone better and leaves you alone and heartbroken.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

Who were your best friends in junior high?

Junior High was a hard time for me and friends. I pretty much had a new group every year. I can't remember having a best friend in sixth grade but a group of friends. Ashley M was best friend in seventh grade with some of the same friends from sixth grade. Eighth grade I bounced between those friends and Kate and her group and Julissa and that group. I was weird with friends.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

What were you like in high school?

Weird question. I was more immature than I am now obviously. I never really knew what I was like to other people because I didn't really ever care. To me, I was nerdy and weird and awkward and I don't mind it at all. I never went out much until I started hanging out with Kelsey and after that I pretty much always hung out with her outside of school. I ran cross country, but was never good at it. I think I was the girl that got straight a's, who teachers liked, who was medium to the student body, not too outrageous, not too quiet. I think. I don't know. I like me better now though.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's such a ridiculously hard question to answer because there are so many songs that I would want to listen to. My first instinct is to go with "Never Think" by Rob Pattinson (I know, shut up.) because it's the most listened to song on my iPod. I used it as a lullaby with my roommates last year. Then I think, no, ridiculous, something Dave Matthews Band because they're my all time favorite band and I could listen to them forever and never get sick of them. But I decided that if I had one song to listen to for the rest of my life then it would be Hillsong United's "From The Inside Out" because that song never fails me and will keep my faith alive.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

The Poll's Dying Wish Granted- The Results

Alright, so the poll is now finally closed.

And believe you me, it was an EXCITING last day for the poll.

When the poll was first put up on March 12th, a few people voted on him, engaging with him and clicking on him in all the right places, but then his life dwindled for a bit. Every now and then he'd get a little scratch and ultimately before yesterday he wound up with only 12 votes.

Then I decided to give the poll a little publicity on the FB.

And he was given the day of his life.

6 people voted on him yesterday. 6! That was a 50% increase from his paltry lifetime of 12, but it was all in one day. The poll was teased and touched and thrilled beyond his wildest dreams. Good thing it was the last day of the poll for I fear that if he had one more day to go he might not have made it due to his sexual exhaustion.

The poll, in his last dying words, has given me the final results (and asked me to provide some colorful commentary) and the findings stand as following:

7 people, or 38%, fold your toilet paper methodically every time you poop.

I just have to say, what the hell is wrong with you people? You don't fold your toilet paper! You are going to wipe your butt with that! Why would you take the time to fold something you're just going to mess up in the wiping process, GET POOP ON, and throw into a watery abyss that you flush it down into. It makes NO SENSE to me. It's TOILET PAPER. You're TAKING A CRAP, DROPPING A DEUCE, TAKING THE BROWNS TO THE SUPER BOWL, PLAYING WITH LINCOLN LOGS--

YOU ARE NOT AT AN OVERLY PERFUMED ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH FOLDING OUTRAGEOUSLY EXPENSIVE T-SHIRTS IN A FLAMING MANNER.

You're just taking a dump, dude. No need for folding.

11, or 61%, of you prefer to have the toilet paper coming from the top, not the bottom, because that's lamesauce.

These are my people unless of course you FOLD that toilet paper that's coming from the top, then we might have some problems. (Aside to myself in a grumpy mumble: Next time I think I'm not going to have overlapping results so that I can't yell at people and love them as well.... Stupid overlapping results.) If you were one of those overlapping people and you're questioning our friendship and wondering whether or not it will make it past this blog post, I have only two words for you, WE'LL SEE!

But people who like the toilet paper coming from the bottom are absolutely ridiculous, wouldn't you agree? My personal preference of getting my toilet paper is to reach out into the dark unfathomable chasm between the toilet and the wall (It's dark because our bathroom light takes about forty-five minutes to turn and therefore I mostly do away with it) and once I find that scratchy, straight from the tree toilet paper that UCSD so kindly provides for me to wipe my kaslopis with, I KARATE CHOP THAT MOFO until it gives me the EXACT AMOUNT OF PAPER I want. You can only do that WHEN THE PAPER COMES FROM THE TOP. (As I was writing this, that angry voice from the Powerthirst You Tube video was the one in my head, especially for the emphasized ALL CAPS sections.)

4, or 22%, of you wad it and stick it up your butt and pray that works for awhile.

It's nice to know that 4 of my readers have found Jesus. I'm glad that you also take the time to pray to him, in a very gentle yet pleading way I bet, that he makes the toilet paper you wadded up and stuck in your butt work for awhile. I'm glad you think Jesus of all people has time to worry about the TOILET PAPER YOU STUCK IN YOUR BUTT. Seriously, Jesus needs to be involved in your toilet matters?

I could understand if yes, maybe you have a serious illness that prevents you from using the bathroom like a regular person or yes, maybe you use it too much and these abnormal activities are something you do need to pray about to Jesus because, in fact, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE if they don't get solved soon. That I can picture a swift whisper of a prayer that says "Jesus, I know this is pretty awk right now, but if you could just relieve me of my abnormalities in the anus that would be stupendous." And Jesus would probably grant you that prayer because he's bomb dig like that and he came to Earth so he knows what abnormalities in the anus means and he doesn't want you to have them. Or maybe he loves you so much he decides to take you to heaven, getting rid of your abnormalities in the anus, and allowing you all the peace and freedom in the world.

Now you're probably thinking "Wow, that Jesus is a cool cat," but if you voted for option C and are worrying JESUS with your ABNORMALITIES WITH YOUR TOILET PAPER then actually you are straight going to hell.

Only 1, or 5%, of you voted absolutely all of the above.

Well, one special person, which might have been me that one time I voted a long ass time ago but can't remember because it was a long ass time ago, if you were me, then you're awesome and I love you. Thanks for being so non-conformist and choosing all of them, thereby proclaiming your contradictions and implying your hypocrisy while making a statement to the world that you're only human, we're all only human, and we're all going to make mistakes, so it's ok to be contradictory or hypocritical because that's how the loving Lord made us, perfect in our imperfection.

But if you're not me, YOU CAN'T DO ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THE ABOVE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CONTRADICTORY AND HYPOCRITICAL AND WE, AS A PERFECT HUMAN RACE, ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CONTRADICTORY AND HYPOCRITICAL AND THIS VOTES PUTS YOU ON PAR WITH POLITICIANS AND SATAN! Maybe, maybe not.

So, once again, it's very sad to see poll go. He had a long run in this world, but I'm glad that he lives on in his results. I have to go now because the tears are clogging up my vision from the deep depression I am currently falling into and aisghphrepfalskjhgoise aoihfoislnfa sihfwiotwnfsfafalkhfslkfh sakhflkahelkthsmfnsf lkwehlksahflskfn.

The Definition Of Unitard *UPDATED*

Unitard--





A very unflattering outfit of spandex?

or

A retarded unicorn?

or

A retarded unicorn wearing a very unflattering outfit of spandex?

Don't Rain On My Parade

I love this song. At least, I love the version Glee does. I've been listening to them a lot this weekend. I should probably listen to something that I stole from the station, but this song... makes me happy.

It's really amazing. Great for dancing to. Great for singing to. It reminds me of my secret and deep desire to be a performer. I think if I could sing and dance and act for a living I would be happy. There are exactly 4 things keeping me from doing this:

1. I'm really not that pretty enough. Actresses, singers, dancers--they are gorgeous and fit and... perfect? Physically-wise, in my eyes, they are.

2. I can't sing. I think I'm really bad at it. I've never really been able to hear myself sing and have never dared to video myself singing just in case I really am bad as I suspect I am and then this small but fervent desire would have to be extinguished for good.

3. Dancing... not one of my strongest suits. Although, I am naturally more flexible, I've never honed in on this skill. Also, I feel that since I haven't been dancing since I was able to walk like some many people out there, I have no business trying now.

4. I think I might be a little good at acting, which really isn't keeping me from doing this, but I thought I'd throw this out there in good measure. I loved my acting class last year. It was so much fun and challenging and everything I wish I could have in all of my classes.

My life-goal-that-shall-never-be-achieved is to be Belle at Disneyland. Seriously, that's it. If I was asked to do it, I am pretty sure I would drop whatever was going on in my life to do it. I doubt that will ever happen to me, but who knows? Yet this very lofty goal of mine requires two things that I easily do not succeed in--being gorgeous and being perfect-- and therefore become a life-goal-that-shall-never-be-achieved. I guess I shouldn't make it a goal so that I won't fail at it. I shall call it... an ideal career path but I'm choosing otherwise out of sheer terror of the knowledge that I would fail at it and fail at it miserably.

Way to be depressing. It's days like this where I have to stay inside all day and work on homework that make me feel even more self-conscious of my body/take a blow to my self-confidence.

The Personal Narrative Never Writes Itself

I have a personal narrative to write and it is definitely not being written.

Obviously from the simple fact that I am typing this instead of that, but I have no ideas for that.

I mean, I could write about myself for ages (see... blog, for example), but now I have to connect to a wider social issue. I know there are things in my life that I could write about that connect to whatever wider social issues my professor, or should I say T.A.'s since I am pretty sure that our professor will never look at them, is looking for, but I do not want to write five pages about them. I do not want to write about them at all.

For example, my drunkard of a father and the terrible divorce he and my mother went through, making connections to alcoholism, domestic violence, the impact of divorce and then abandonment upon children.

I could do that.

But I won't.

I wanted to write something... light-hearted and funny? I really do not want to sink into the drearier aspects of my life to produce a paper that will never go beyond this class and that I may personally have to put my own emotional involvement in.

(In the middle of the sentence above, I had an idea for what I wanted to write about, possibly. I sent an email to my former TA, who is a TA for this class but not mine, asking him if it would be ok, then I played some Neopets, checked both email accounts, played more Neopets (I like Neopets, ok? Gosh.), looked at Barnes & Noble.com, took a call from my mom, checked my texts, and then came back to this sentence. So it's been awhile. Maybe like, 25 minutes.)

Wow, looking back on that sentence, I'm appalled at myself.

I don't want to put emotion into my writing?

That is sincerely a disheartening sentence. Why would I ever write that? I put emotion into everything all the time, but especially my writing. And I don't want to do it for this? Why? Because it's an assignment? Who gives a fuck? That is no excuse. That is an absolutely disgusting example of a complete lack of motivation, self-discipline, and a wretched amount of laziness.

I'm going to go write this damn essay right now whether or not TA gets back to me.

I figured out what I'm going to write about.

Down With The Sickness

So, last night, everything hit me.

I got sick. And it's not that fun.

In fact, it sucks a lot, especially when I'm so behind in school because I've been hanging out with my family and because I've been hanging out with my family, trying to juggle school and Disneyland and maximizing the amount of time spent with said family, now I am sick.

Argh.

And no one is really doing anything cool on Facebook so I don't even have that to distract me.

I've been working on my copyediting that I didn't do at all this week and I just finished it now. It's really hard to wrap your head with the minute details of grammar when your head isn't even feeling normal. And this week's stuff was hard. I fear I'm screwed.

I have chapters upon chapters to read, an essay to do that I have no idea how to write, three dense readings due by Tuesday 8am, a quiz Friday, and this upcoming week's copyediting. There's a part of me that's glad I'm sick so I can do all this work but I need to be sick enough to make me stay in bed (or on the couch, which is where my permanent residence has been today) but not sick enough that I can't absorb material. I wish I had just lost my voice like I did last year Spring quarter. I got so much work done.

This situation is no bueno.

Please pray for healing and some motivation to get everything done and a clear head.

Fun, Family, Back, Break-ups

This will be short as I want a 15 minute nap before I go out to lunch with my fambam for the last time before they leave SD.

I had fun with them at Disneyland. I will talk more in detail about it later, but I will say I am very sad to see my annual pass expire with absolutely no money to renew it for another year.

I love, love, love spending time with my mother and brother more than anyone else in the entire world and I realize this more and more when I am with them. It's probably why I only saw Stephanie, Amelia, and Andrew this spring break. I apologize for not making enough time for everyone (Ashtyn, I really do love you!) or for not spending enough time with certain people . I wish I could have. A week is not enough for a break, especially when two days are travel and I desperately want to sleep/never leave the house because I am so tired from finals and the only people who can handle me like that is my family, only because they have to.

I'm back from Disneyland at UCSD now, have been actually for a bit, since Tuesday officially, but life has been one major stress ball and I haven't gotten anything done at all. I need to work, but now I am definitely getting sick (no sleep + week of fast food = no bueno) and I'm tired and I just want to sleep and never wake-up, but that'll have to wait until after my radio show tonight, which I will be attending yay! Sorry, Jezli, for missing last week's. I love you and thank you for putting up with my hugely irresponsible self for this week's show.

Break-ups, not for me, but for someone else, and I'm kind of wondering WTH. But boy I like is back on the market. Thanks to a smidgen of hopeful Facebook stalking I found this out. I'm kind of happy. I do feel bad for him though. I hope it wasn't bad or anything. Hopefully it was like "Eh? Nay." and so simple and quick. But mostly, I am confused.

What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?

I would love Zooey Deschanel to play me because she super amazing and talented and gorgeous. But I'd probably end up getting Kristen Stewart.

Ask me anything. I dare you.