Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Distance From A To Where You'd B

I've sort of torn myself away from the world of my Redding friends. I pretty much haven't talked to anyone in forever. The past three nights though I've talked to a different person- Steph, Ashtyn, and Andrew. It felt good to hear all of their voices. I've been texting Steph a lot too and it makes me really happy. I miss her a lot, a lot.

It's so funny, thinking how she used to be "the other girl," the one who was dating the boy I liked, the one who intimidated me so. And now I can honestly call her my best friend. Lately, when I text her, I feel really clingy. I am always worried about the status of the relationship. Not really in a bad sense, but I think about other relationships and get scared. I don't really want to lose her. I think about how her and Alyssa aren't talking anymore, how they've been fighting, how they've lost touch since Alyssa moved away- I live 9 hours farther from Steph than Alyssa and I know what losing touch is like as I barely talk to Kelsey anymore and she was an ultimate best friend for such a long time.

Also, Steph is going to move here. I'm so excited about that. Like, to have her here is the most exciting thing to me. I pray to God that she gets accepted to SDSU (and that she likes it so she'll stay), so she can be closer to me. And I was thinking about it and how excited I am, and normally the things in my life that I'm really excited about are the things that never happen. And I got worried last night that even though she's so close, we'd get wrapped up in our own worlds and never see each other. I mean, honestly, Danielle Jenne LIVES ON MY CAMPUS jsut down the freaking street. I haven't seen her all year and texted her only once.

And you know what Steph said to that-- "This is me of whom we speak! We will find time and make it work." That's like... one of the... best things anyone's ever said to me. Like, I'm sure Kelsey has said something like that to me before, but I never could really expect her to follow through on it. When Steph said it, I knew it was true. Our history has backed it up. I mean, this break, even though she had finals and work and was getting sick, she made so much time to see me. If I wasn't home, I was at Steph's.

And I didn't have this intention when writing tonight. I really had no direction except knowing I wanted to write, to share something with this small world that reads my words. But I'm glad I did.

Steph, you're my best friend. And you have no idea how happy I am about that. I'm excited to see where life takes us, knowing that you'll be there to share it with me.

1 comment:

  1. I kinda freaking love you!!! I can't wait to move down there! I miss you Bella!


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