I cannot believe after all of the progress and beauty and everything, that she just dies in the end.
I honestly cannot even possibly consider she chose that. I cannot see her that way. After everything was becoming so... good. And then, it's just over.
After everything, she dies.
It scares the shit out of me. No matter what, no matter how I can change the way I think or how strong I think I am, that it could not even matter in the end. Even when things are good, even when things are the heading in a most beautiful direction, it doesn't even matter.
I feel like I'm just waiting for relapse.
My wrists itch. And I feel like I'm only in a losing battle.
I desperately don't want it to be.
Oh, God, please don't let it be.
I promise I will do whatever I can to win.
I just still can't believe she fucking died.