If you don't know what I will be talking about, here's a link to an article that should be updating continuously as these tragic events at UCSD unfold.
This is what is happening at my school, a nationally renowned university of higher education. Can you fucking believe it? How does this happen? Is this even real life?
As today went on, I just became more and more worn out, as if the life was being choked from me.
Do you not understand? This represents "Be silent or die." Is this what this world is about? Is this what my community is about?
Thank God it's not. Thank God there are people here who care and stand up for this.
I've heard countless opinions today, talked about it multiple times, and the thought still shocks me. It shakes me to the core. I haven't begun to wrap my head around this yet. I've literally spent the day in denial, doing anything to take my mind of it. I almost lost it as I explained to my mom the events that are going on.
How do I tell my mom that I'm not safe in a place where she cannot protect me?
How do I tell my mom there's a question of a school shooting hanging about our heads?
How do I explain to myself why I don't want to go outside, why I don't want to be in the place that has brought so much joy and growth for me?
And all of these thoughts are nothing. They are nothing in comparison to everything going through my mind because I still cannot wrap my head around it.
The stories are terrifying and the climate is tense. The weather burdens our moods with a heavy grey and there's no way to get away from it.
So I will sleep it off and see what comes Monday. What else can I do?