Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What is your weapon of choice?

It depends upon the situation. Different situations call for different weapons. If there is a rapist, you need numchuks, preferably the rapist's numchuks because what's more embarrassing than getting beaten down by your own numchuks. If there is a smoke monster, I would morph into a plane and tell him "C'mon, Smoke Monster, let's get you off this island!. We're goin' places." And then he would get on (with his bitty arm) and I would take him away and he would say "RAWRRAWRRAWRRARA" much like Lady Gaga, and he would be so excited to leave the island, then I would drown that bitch in the bottom of the ocean. I would leave the plane down there, which would be the equivalent of cutting off my middle toe and then I would save the island. If it was a unicorn rapist, I wouldn't do a thing, because when he inserts his horn into your babymaker, he's really just leaving a bunch of love crumbs in there, so that when you walk around, the love crumbs come falling out and you spread the pure and innocent love of a unicorn around wherever you go.

Ask me anything. I dare you.

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