Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Am Slowly Killing Myself

I KNOW! Less emo, more fun. But I do believe that everyone in my apartment believes that I am slowly killing myself quicker than they are because of the fact that I put in my body exaborant (not a word, but it works) amounts of macaroni-and-cheese and peanut-butter-and-jelly and all sorts of delicious things but that aren't good for you in the exaborant (still not a word, but still works) amount that I eat them in.

I expressed this belief yesterday to Jezli and she said

"We do."

Oh, they do?

Jezli also told me that

"I have more days on this planet than you do because of the way I eat and because of the way you eat and I'm going to dominate the planet once you leave because you're superior planet domination skills are keeping me from doing so right now but you will die soon because of your inorganic eating habits and love for foods-that-are-hyphenated."

but in not so many words.

Which is fine by me. She can have the planet when I'm done with it. I bequeath unto you, Jezli H, which is your official name since that's how you put it on Bookface and that is the name that I will use in this official bequest.

And foods-that-are-hyphenated are way better than foods-that-are-not-hyphenated. And even though that phrase is hyphenated, it does NOT mean the unhyphenated foods are goods.

So I did this today.

This is me eating S'mores poptarts because the quarter is ending and I have no real food and I don't want to buy more because then it has to sit here while I'm gone and I don't want to do that to the food, so I'm resorting to eating whatever I have and what I have are S'mores poptarts.

Also, notice that I have removed the edges because I think they taste super gross.

Also, also, Jezli is concerned for me, as noted by her concerned motherly appearance in the background.

By the way, that's what Jezli looks like so if you think she's hot you should friend request her on Bookface. It'll probably be a good technique to save your life especially since I'm bequeathing the domination of the planet to her after I die and she'll probably at least save her Bookface friends when she starts killing all of the spiders and people she doesn't like off.

1 comment:

  1. You and Jamie have a distinct love of foods-that-are-hyphenated that I shall never understand...


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