Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Personal Narrative Never Writes Itself

I have a personal narrative to write and it is definitely not being written.

Obviously from the simple fact that I am typing this instead of that, but I have no ideas for that.

I mean, I could write about myself for ages (see... blog, for example), but now I have to connect to a wider social issue. I know there are things in my life that I could write about that connect to whatever wider social issues my professor, or should I say T.A.'s since I am pretty sure that our professor will never look at them, is looking for, but I do not want to write five pages about them. I do not want to write about them at all.

For example, my drunkard of a father and the terrible divorce he and my mother went through, making connections to alcoholism, domestic violence, the impact of divorce and then abandonment upon children.

I could do that.

But I won't.

I wanted to write something... light-hearted and funny? I really do not want to sink into the drearier aspects of my life to produce a paper that will never go beyond this class and that I may personally have to put my own emotional involvement in.

(In the middle of the sentence above, I had an idea for what I wanted to write about, possibly. I sent an email to my former TA, who is a TA for this class but not mine, asking him if it would be ok, then I played some Neopets, checked both email accounts, played more Neopets (I like Neopets, ok? Gosh.), looked at Barnes &, took a call from my mom, checked my texts, and then came back to this sentence. So it's been awhile. Maybe like, 25 minutes.)

Wow, looking back on that sentence, I'm appalled at myself.

I don't want to put emotion into my writing?

That is sincerely a disheartening sentence. Why would I ever write that? I put emotion into everything all the time, but especially my writing. And I don't want to do it for this? Why? Because it's an assignment? Who gives a fuck? That is no excuse. That is an absolutely disgusting example of a complete lack of motivation, self-discipline, and a wretched amount of laziness.

I'm going to go write this damn essay right now whether or not TA gets back to me.

I figured out what I'm going to write about.

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